December 9th was the long, waited day of our 20 weeks ultrasound to find out if our baby was a boy or girl. Her daddy was finally getting his little Willow that he had always wanted. It was also the day we found out she was measuring two weeks behind. To us it seemed like no big deal, we would just have another small baby like her brother. Our doctor wanted us to see a perinatologist in the Cities to do a more extensive ultrasound due to having complications with Hudson. The following week, December 17th, we were so excited to see Willow again. As the tech did our images the room grew silent and a darkness pouring over us. We were told Willow was now 3 weeks behind in growth and that there was a bleed in the placenta that had leaked into the amniotic fluid. They said my placenta was working so hard that eventually it would give out and Willow’s heart would stop. The doctor said this is where we can choose to terminate the pregnancy or let nature take its course. How could any parent make that decision to end their child’s life? So, of course we held onto hope that she could grow just a little more and make it to 23 weeks and she could have a chance at life. If she were to live, we were instructed to come back in 2 weeks to check her growth. December 31st came, everything had taken a turn for the worst. She had only gained 15 grams in 2 weeks, the blood flow from the placenta to Willow started reversing and now there was hardly any amniotic fluid left. Again, we were told she would pass away. Miss Willow put on the fight of her life and lived for another 3 weeks. Monday, January 20th, another ultrasound. I was in so much pain and began to get very sick. They discovered there was now no amniotic fluid left and Willow developed hydrops, which is flued around her major organs. Because of the hydrops I developed Mirror Syndrome, a rare form of preeclampsia, where my body started mimicking what her body was going through. The only cure for Mirror Syndrome is delivery. Our main goal through all of this was to try save our baby girl. We then did 24 hours of magnesium drip to prevent cerebral palsy and 2 doses of steroids to develop her lungs. The cesarean was scheduled for Wednesday the 22nd late afternoon. The morning of the 22nd Willow had other plans. Her heart rate kept dropping, so they did an emergency cesarean. The NICU team said to us “Do things for her not to her”. They tried put in the breathing tube twice and it kept getting stuck from her swelling of the hydrops. They came to us and asked if they should put in tubes to try to drain the fluid which would cause her more pain. I looked at my husband and said, “I trust you”. A few moments later as I lie on the operating table, here he comes holding Willow all wrapped up. Her fight was over, and she could now rest in peace and free from pain.
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